|Trials and Trust|
There’s something gloriously relaxing about being just short of 60. Of course, my body doesn’t often co-operate with the ‘young’ instructions I sometimes give it, but I no longer find myself fighting and fretting over what cannot be changed. I am happier to accept what is, instead of pushing to make it be what I think it should be. It’s so much more peaceful when you give up the fight!
Ted Tripp’s Lost in the Middle was very helpful several years ago. I bought this book for my husband, who was seriously unhappy at work, which I thought was attributable to a mid-life crisis. He’s not a reader, so I thought I would read the book and share the ideas with him. Well, the Lord’s providence is marvellous: through this book I had to take a good, long hard look at myself and ask who it was who was really in crisis! I was able to work through several issues (that I didn’t know I had) and come to an understanding of how past events affected my attitude. By god’s grace, I was able to change some of those attitudes, which brought a degree of peace.
The key word here is degree. I think that I am worry- and panic-free until I find myself with a severe face-ache that comes from clenching my teeth with stress. Outwardly, I think I have everything under control, but the pain in my face tells another story and makes me out to be a liar. The fact that I’m stressed means that I am still fighting for control, that I am still wanting things my way and not submitting myself to the Lord’s providence. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and, in my case, the body tells the soul to trust God more. We never get it right and we are never to old to learn and grow. Roll on 70, by which time I will trust more; roll on heaven when my faith will be sight!
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